So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
