it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
