He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
