Sry I called you an 8
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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