When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
