Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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