Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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