I like to think it a success when the cops are called
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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