Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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