Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
