apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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