so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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