He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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