i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
