when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
