she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
