She's JV to your varsity
I bet he comes in French.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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