I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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