i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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