You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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