porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
