why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
