im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
