Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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