just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
