So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
