is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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