You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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