my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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