we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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