Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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