You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
