paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
and you fell through a lawn chair
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
