that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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