I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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