I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
