i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
