Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
