yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You took a bar mat shot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
