I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i will never coherently bang her
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
