This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
