Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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