you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
