I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
