so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
