So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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