things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
