My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
