I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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