i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
